Steve Seidel
The Seidel Agency
From Engineering Microchips to Engineering Human Connection | Stephen Seidel
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"I was coming from a place where I was trying to find happiness outside of myself. And so I needed to come from happiness instead of for happiness.
Key Takeaways
- ◆Steve defines grit as four specific things: being grateful, being resilient, having integrity, and developing trust and truth in who you really are, not just the generic resilience everyone talks about.
- ◆He uses a card deck created from The Artist Way by Julia Cameron to start every meeting by asking one open, personal question like 'How do you live out your purpose every day?' to build vulnerability and connection before diving into business.
- ◆Steve calls his approach 'connection engineering' and applies it by finding specific cultural moments that integrate into who people are, like socks matching shirt days or college t-shirt days at Motorola, to motivate teams beyond just chasing the bottom line.
- ◆Seidel uses a 4M framework to align organizations: start with mission (your why), then message (what matters most), media (how to amplify it), and movement (the culture shift you build).
- ◆The three stories that matter are the one you tell yourself, the one you share publicly from the pedestal, and the one people tell about you when you leave the room, all rooted in whether your identity, alignment, and character are genuinely aligned.
- ◆Steve's men's group created a morning routine framework called morning pies, where you do something physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual every morning to build systems that work without thinking.
- ◆When pressure hits, take a six second pause using box breathing like Navy SEALs do to respond intentionally instead of reacting and letting things go off the rails.
Full transcript
Show
Chad Paris
Welcome to Process Over Pressure, the show for founders and operators who are building something real and need permission to believe it actually matters. I'm Chad Paris your host. My guest today started his career as an engineer, building microchips and chasing efficiency on a factory floor. Then he did something most engineers, I can tell you, never do. He walked into the world of media and storytelling. He launched some of the first original content on the internet. and build an agency around a single idea. That connection is the real currency in business and in life. He is a TEDx speaker, a founder, and one of the most genuinely generous people I've ever come across. Stephen Sad Sadel. Sadell, welcome to Process Over Pressure.
Steve Seidel
There you go. You d you hit it, man. Process of you were feeling the pressure on that last name, but you did it. Yeah. Stephen Seidel is here and thank you so much for having me. That was that was an amazing introduction because it brings me back to my time of being an engineer and maker making microprocessing chips and creating content. The whole nine, you just put me through my whole career in in five seconds. I just went. Thank you. Yeah, dude. It time time goes quick. I'm you know, put I'm in the the this the I guess I'm
Chad Paris
I do.
Chad Paris
is like flashing before your eyes, like, my God.
Steve Seidel
The second the second nine of my life, you know, you the first nine, you know, the second nine and over the third chapter, but I'm right there. So thank you.
Chad Paris
Mm. I bet you probably still have some of those microchips laying around the house somewhere, huh?
Steve Seidel
you know I do. It was a tra i I remember it was a challenge because we put these little glasses on and this is when we're making cell phone chips back in two thousand. You know, the industry crashed about two thousand three. I got laid off my first of three times, but every time I got laid off it got better. But in that moment, I'm trying to get these like lasers right. There's a guy by name of Rafael Vasquez. He's trying to tell me how to do it. I just couldn't figure it out. So I have them in my basement and I always look at them and I'm like, I think I should throw these out. I'm like, part of doesn't want to throw them out because that was like my blood, sweat, and tears. We we had to wear these bunny suit outfits. So we would go into the fabrication facility and they we were making microprocessing chips. So you can't have one speck of dust on there. And there were some really interesting people that worked there. But I was just straight out of college, making a lot of money, spent it all in the bar scenes and the whole nine in Austin, Texas. But it was a good time.
Chad Paris
You can't. Yeah. man.
Chad Paris
that's awesome. You know, it's you know, we look back on some of those times when especially like when we're young and and not that we're old. I mean, you know, you you you well, I feel like I'm that that guy like back in our day. That's not what I mean, but yeah, when we were kids, we used to this. Well that what I what I love is like, you know, you look back when you were young and like you could go for days, like, you know, no sleep, go to the bar, come home, go right to work and like
Steve Seidel
When we were kids.
Chad Paris
Do it again the next day and you never felt the pain. Not so much today. It's like, hey, I had two beers, like I'm down for I'm down for a week.
Steve Seidel
Yeah. You're telling me I don't even drink anymore because I'm just like, hey, if I wanna live a long life, I got I'm an old dad. So it's like if I wanna if I wanna extend that runway, I'm gonna do everything in my power. I w I go to the gym and I hate going to the gym and I'm tired. I'm like, it's for the kids, right? But yeah, I used to work at Disney World out of college. I was in the college program in nineteen ninety eight. And so I was the only one who had a car. I was also the only one in when I say only one, we all lived in these little apartments. It was called Vista Way and it was like party central.
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Steve Seidel
And the only one in my apartment who had a car was also the only one who was twenty one. So it's not a good combo. But and then I worked at Blizzard Beach Water Park where the park opened up at six AM in the morning. And so parties till two, three, four, and then I'm in in the water park at six AM hosing down the park. And I did it time and time again. And I don't know how I did, but it was one of the funnest times of my life. It was amazing.
Chad Paris
man. that's awesome.
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Chad Paris
I wonder if that park's still still open. Is it still there or they changed the name of No way.
Steve Seidel
It it's still there, man. Every time I I look it up and I'm like, one of these days I'm gonna get down there. We used to live in California, so we would go to Disneyland, it's easier. But Disney World like the OG, you they got Epcot and everything. And every time I hear like UB forty and you know, Jimmy Cliff, there's just certain songs I can see clearly now. And I'll be walking through I I don't wanna get you flagged 'cause you can have music on your podcast. But every time I hear that I'm just envisioning me like half tired, cleaning up trash. I was a custodial host.
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Chad Paris
Yeah, it takes you right back.
Steve Seidel
So the reason I chose that I was like I could just walk around the park all day and I did.
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Chad Paris
Man, that's so cool. You maybe you should go back. They maybe still have like the employee of the month banner up. Like you still may be hanging on the wall there. Okay. Okay. There you go.
Steve Seidel
I have it downstairs. Speaking of things that you keep, it's an applausegram and it was it says to Stephen Seidel
Chad Paris
There you go.
Chad Paris
No kidding. Like you can still smell the chlorine in the air.
Steve Seidel
I can. And you know what? I'm gonna let you in on a little secret and I tell a lot of people this. Hopefully it doesn't get out, but you know, whatever. When you're at Disney and you're cleaning the water park, we would have these little wonky talkies on. One time there was Pam Pamela Anderson was there and so me and my buddy were like talking. But they have code words. So the code word for let actually I'm gonna ask you, what do you think a honey bucket is?
Chad Paris
sweet.
Chad Paris
man. I don't know. It has to be I don't even know if I wanna know. Maybe somebody puked in the pool? Okay.
Steve Seidel
Close. H a honey bucket was when there was a little the fecal matter in the in the wave pools and whatnot. So they couldn't you can't shout that out while everybody's in the pool swimming. You can't be like, Hey, we got a little, you know what? And then there's another one, protein spill. So that's what you were talking about. Protein spill is you know and so they would have all these code words and then they had these big huge turkey legs. And the turkey legs were not turkey legs, they were actually emu legs. But they were massive. So you're holding this
Chad Paris
Yeah, it's true.
Steve Seidel
stick of meat walking around the water park looking like Fred Flintstone. I mean it was it was an experience. I learned a lot actually. I learned about Synergy, one plus one equals three. They were the first company to ever put out the movies and then with the movies had merchandise and the toys and the soundtracks. They were doing it all before anybody had ever conceived of this. So shout out to Disney.
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Chad Paris
I had a I actually had a guest on on my podcast was was actually the the first one. She she is lives in California and she I can't remember her name right now, though that's terrible, but she actually is was the marketing person that came up with like when they did the movies, like all the marketing merchandise that you're talking about, that was she was the one who did that. It was really cool. Yeah. It was cool.
Steve Seidel
man, I I gotta go back and check that out because I wanna meet this gal. One of the things that I loved is I was real I was really into Toy Story and I it I don't know when the show's airing, but Toy Story Five is coming out and it's coming out real soon and my kids are looking forward to it. But I remember watching that in ninety six when the first one came out, and so Toy Story has spanned pretty much my whole adult life. But for me it was the little green guys like the claw as my master. So what
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Chad Paris
yeah.
Steve Seidel
So when I worked at Disney, there's a thing called property control. And they take all the toys that are like old or nicked up or whatever. And I had this little guy, and you'd squeeze him, you'd the claw is my master. And I brought him to college just after I worked at Disney. And my best friend thought it would be a good idea after one late night of partying to put it in a microwave. And we all know what happened to that guy. He he got he got ripped up, but and I could never find another one. Everywhere I was like looking online, I was like, but now I'm like,
Chad Paris
man.
Steve Seidel
pushing fifty, I'm like, I can't buy a little blow up little clause my naster toy, but he but that girl probably created it.
Chad Paris
She probably did and like has it probably sitting on a shelf somewhere. So you need to
Steve Seidel
Yeah, so I gotta get her number and be like, Can I get one of those old school the claws, my master?
Chad Paris
Right. Yeah, she she was she was talking about all the toys and things like that she did. It was really cool. But anyway. So so you know, Drake great history growing up and I I love what you one of the things she said there, and I think it's so cool, is like all these little things that we're talking about, and and even myself, like, those are those are moments in our life that define and even what we do today, when we look back on those, we're like, you know, cleaning up fecal matter out of that pool taught me something. I didn't know it was teaching me at that time, but I look back and like, you know, I'm glad I went to college 'cause I'd be doing that the rest of my life. I mean that's a learning that's a that's an opportunity, right? Learning learning moment.
Steve Seidel
For sure. For sure.
Steve Seidel
Yeah. I'm in the process. My wife is encouraging me to do this, but I don't know if I'm gonna do it or not. But it's a it's a book very early on in in the process called Random Lessons from Odd Jobs. But growing up, I worked as an engineer and then I went towards entertainment. So when I was an entertainer, I said, look, I'm not gonna get a real job. I wanna focus on auditions and craft. And I learned about, you know, improvisation and being creative and really giving myself that tool set from the left brain and the right brain, which is what I feel like allows me to bring something very unique when I work with clients.
Chad Paris
Mm.
Steve Seidel
But every single job, you know, I was an elevator operator and at one point I had to dress up as a nutcracker and I'm bringing these people up and down in the freight elevator. And I see this girl from high school. her name was Kate Wodika, and I was in the student government organization. She was a couple of years younger, and I think she kinda had a little crush on me or whatever. And she comes in and she's like, Steve Seidel, and talk about humility and having to get over things and realize, look, there's more to than just, you know, your confidence and your ego. Like t
Chad Paris
Maybe. Yeah.
Steve Seidel
That was an ego crusher. The more we can learn about getting rid of the ego, the faster that we're going to get to success. And so all these other little things, whether it's Disney. I was also hired to be the guy who rang this the closing bell for 7 Eleven on July 11th. And I would take all these odd jobs. So I dressed up as Mr. Slurpee and I'm running around I'm running around the stock exchange floor. I'm throwing like Slurpee straws everywhere and it was kind of it was fun. I think I made like $200.
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Chad Paris
Wow.
Steve Seidel
Closing bell, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I still have it on video. I'm on there with all the executives. You see Mr. Slurpee like waving. And my girlfriend at the time was like, I don't know if I should be really proud of you or super embarrassed, but a couple of weeks later she cheated on me. So I guess she was embarrassed. I don't know. But you know.
Chad Paris
Yeah. But but that was your like I've made it. I'm Mr. Slurpee on the closing bell. And now look at you. Like Mr. Slurpee like if you know, that would have been a job that you know, that'd be a really cool job being Mr Slurpee, like
Steve Seidel
Mr. Slurpee. And now yeah, Mr Slurpee
Steve Seidel
On the regular if they could hire somebody on a regular basis, I would eat that up. Like I would I grew up on seven eleven. That was a East Coast convenience store.
Chad Paris
it it's t it's by far it's it's awesome. I mean it's fantastic. I love seven eleven. They got the best fountain drinks, the best like you go in there, like their ice is the perfect ice, like it's the best. I love it. It's right. You know, it's like a lot of people are trying to be seven eleven, but they just can't seven eleven.
Steve Seidel
Yeah. That's where it stuck. Yeah. So when I ask my friends, my friends are always like, Hey, are you doing another activity? You're doing another self help thing. Like, what are you doing? I'm constantly trying to learn and understand the way that I'm presenting myself, how I'm perceived. What am I looking to bring forward? And so it's a constant, you know, we're constantly changing. I talk a lot about identity. And so for me, I think it a lot of it started with that. I talk about grit when we speak with our founders is Nowadays you hear a lot, grit, resilience, the whole nine. But for me, grit is, you know, being grate grateful, being resilient, having integrity and developing that trust and that truth of who you really are. And so a lot of that starts when you're walking around picking up poop in Disney.
Chad Paris
Agreed. I I'll tell you a little funny, like I had a I was a school teacher. Yeah. ten ten years and in one of my fur my job I had like for five years. I ran a I run an alternative school. And I don't know if you're familiar with an alternative school or what that is, but it's basically, you know, these are kids that, you know, have a really troubled past and and they y i it's yeah, it's to think about the bad news bears like on steroids, right? And so
Steve Seidel
Nice.
Steve Seidel
Talking bad news bears.
Chad Paris
I was kind of like the coach in there. I I had I I ran the school and so I had, you know, all these kids and so i I always get I I have multiple t stories. Like I could do a whole show on just the stories that came out of that because I s you get a chance to experience a lot of stuff. And so I always have people tell Man, you should write a book. Like you mentioned that we'll go like you should write a book on your time as a as a teacher, like doing that, all the stories. Like there there there's some that that would have you in stitches, but but man, it was It it was it was fun. But I I I'll say, like you, that job, you're talking about being resilient and grit and being able to manage people. Like if you can take a room full of fifteen kids that are I'm talking about most of have like felonies. Like they're they're bad. And you can control that environment, that you can actually get from like eight o'clock in the morning to three o'clock in the afternoon, that you can keep there without killing each other. That's a day, man. You've did it.
Steve Seidel
Yeah.
Steve Seidel
Hey, you know what that means? That means you can host Process Beats Pressure podcast because the pressure was on, but the process was in place.
Chad Paris
It will it you you you had to like you learned very early on that if you didn't if you gotta be like cause I think about process like process is being three steps ahead of everybody else. That's what process is. Like you you gotta know, like you gotta be ahead of, right? And i if you if you didn't come with your A game in that room, psh, forget it. They'd have you you'd be like, you know, the story of the duct taped on the wall, like you'd be you'd be the guy they walk in, you'd be duct taped on the wall. my God. I had some I had one kid in there.
Steve Seidel
Yeah. Totally.
Steve Seidel
Yeah. Yeah.
Chad Paris
He we had we had Miss Alabama, I was excusing Alabama, Miss Alabama came and was going to do like a presentation at the school. Well, this kid goes in, like before a presentation and steals her laptop. And he takes and hides it behind the bathroom. You know, they they called him whatever. So, you know, obviously what are they gonna do with him? He comes down, he's with me. Like, I I said, Man, how are you gonna steal like Miss Alabama's like you're gonna steal her laptop? Like she's got you can't even get into it, first of all, because it's got a password on it.
Steve Seidel
Wow.
Chad Paris
And you got our whole presentation, like you stole it. Like, why would you do that? I don't know, it's kind of funny. I'm like, come on, man. Like
Steve Seidel
Yeah, man. That doing it doing it dirty. That's where the from a business perspective, the system I like to keep the the rule of three is my favorite. The systems, the strategies, the solutions. So you had your systems, you had your strategy of how to come at them or how you want to approach them, and then your solution is, you know, you had your various solutions in order to solve that. But yeah, if if they could see you now, I wonder where they're at. Dude, I always do that. All I love to look back. And for me, so I have a thirty year re y reunion coming up.
Chad Paris
yeah.
Chad Paris
my God, they would I I do too. Do too.
Steve Seidel
And I talk a lot about this too, is when I was growing up, I was five three when I graduated high school. And so I'm a recovering people pleaser. My parents were in a divorce. I found myself in the middle, like constantly trying for validation. But finally I've gotten myself to a point where, you know, we have to deal with all these things. We make the choice. We we resolve it. We figure out how to move forward. But I love to look back and kind of see how things were. And then, you know, how am I entering the building now in a different way? And what did I learn?
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Chad Paris
Yeah. Yeah, I I think that's the you know the reflection part as as business owners, right? Like, you know, you look at your history, you was an engineer, now you're you're you know, you're you got marketing and you name it, like like the like those things in our past is like I I guess that's it's it's the way I look at it, it's like, man, this is not even the person I was when I walked across that stage then. And like you you you it's weird going back because
Steve Seidel
Yeah.
Chad Paris
Everybody knows you as like, Hey, there's Steve, you know, he's like five three, like, you know. But you're not that person anymore, right? You're like he you know, you're you're not the poop cleaner out of the pool anymore. I mean, you're a different dude.
Yeah. Well
Yeah. Yeah, I'm not doing that anymore. See, they they didn't even know about that, but they will know next time it comes. So yeah, we're doing a 30 year reunion and that's where it's like, man, time flies. And that's where I to go back to the process and the habits and everything like that. I I like to make sure that I do things that are gonna keep me continuing to improve, right? We want to grow, whether it's one percent a day, but also being present. I've known as I get older, that's really we just did a podcast for my men's group. It's called Gent's Journey. I said show up on Sunday, you know, Father's Day. Just show up. It's not about the perfect present, but it's about being present. And too often, you know, you're trying to search for things or find validation or do all these bells and whistles when really if you're there and you're present and you're showing up in people's lives and your own life, that's all you can really ask for. so
Chad Paris
Agreed. And even being even being a business owner, you know, when when whether you're a a business entrepreneur of one or you've got twenty people or a hundred people that work for you, like it's so it's it it's very common. I see it all the time, especially when I'm working with other companies, is like, you know, the the the executive team or the or the people, they're not present. And what I mean by like they're physically there, but they're not present with their people. And and it's because they're Lot of times it's because of the pressure because the process is broken. And so they're so busy trying to I call it the wrangling effect. They're trying to wrangle everybody and the process and get it going because they're such out of whack that they end up like they're not present in the moment with what's going on, like with their people or their company or and it gets overlooked sometime. And it it's like a a big culture shift that happens, right? Like you see that where people start You know, you've been in business where they're like, Yeah, I don't really like working here anymore, nobody cares about me, dah dah dah I mean you hear that, right? Like
Steve Seidel
Yeah. As soon as I went to Motorola, there was a guy, I remember I came in, I Hey, we're gonna have Team Fridays. You know, I was trying to bring my ideas. He's like, I've been working here twenty years, I'm not doing any Team Fridays. And so he was like a and but then eventually people started doing it, I was Hey, we're gonna have our socks match our our shirts day or like our college t shirt days and just trying to find ways and that's where when we to go back to like what I do for connection engineering or is is to find ways that we can engineer that connection so it becomes integrated in who you are to build that culture. And so we want to be connected to our calling. We want to be obviously connected to our consumer, but also our community. And when we have that sense of responsibility and we know the subtle nuances that will, like you talked about, motivate others or inspire them or get them to come out. And so, a lot of a lot of organizations right now they're driven by the bottom line, which is great and you should be if you're a for profit business and you need to have profit, but
Chad Paris
Yeah. It's good.
Steve Seidel
What we try and do with from an organization is to really understand the narrative you're telling, the story that you're telling. What do the employees look like? Are you culturally aligned? And usually at my company, I have this cool little card deck that we created at my men's group. And it's got a bunch of really insightful questions. And the reason we created this is because oftentimes people jump right into business. Or as a man, we aren't as open and vulnerable in into building bonds as others. And so simply sharing something personal. just get you off to the races. So every time we start a meeting, I ask one of these questions. could I ask you one? Tell me when so this is like there's a book called it's like there's a book called The Artist Way, which is by Julia Cameron. It's called The Spiritual Guide to Higher Creativity. And we had to read it when we were younger, when not when we were younger, but when I was an actor so that we could connect on a deeper level to who we were and like where we're and one of the activities is go back, look into who you wanted to be or what you wanted to be when you were older.
Chad Paris
Yeah, please. I'd love to. I love it.
Steve Seidel
bring that into your present life. So then you have more subtle nuances. You're you if it's fun, it gets done. So I always wanted to be a magician. So I created this card deck so I could play with cards. And then the magic is in your answer. Tell me when to stop.
Chad Paris
Stop.
Steve Seidel
this is easy for you, man. The question is, how do you live out your purpose every day?
Chad Paris
Ooh, I like that. How do I live out my purpose every day?
Steve Seidel
And look at the other one I pulled up. What did you want to be when you grow up? I was just talking about that. See? That's serendipity right there, brother.
Chad Paris
I know. It is. I I I think for me, what I what I live out my purpose like is is being a man of doing what I say I'm gonna do. Like I think, you know, when I when I think about people that I would want to encounter, like yourself or whoever, I want people to be real and genuine and and and that's the way I want to, that's how I treat people. I want er it at the end of the world, I want people to go, man. That dude really cared about me and he tried to help me. That's that's that's what it is for me.
Steve Seidel
I love that. Yeah, me too, man. I remember I spoke to somebody, he was like a a coach and I said, Look, I just want to make people happy. And he was like, Well, if they don't want to be happy, you can't make them be happy. I'm like, that's true, that's true. And so late I was like, Hey, let me reanalyze this and say, When we were growing up, I was in the Cub Scouts. A lot of these people don't do these types of things, but it was always like, or if we were catering, we would say, Hey, we want to leave it better than we found it, right? We come into a concert hall, we party down, or you know, we have a big like how can we leave it better than we found it? We're just being a soundboard. So, dude, that's one of the reasons why I'm happy to be on the show. So thanks again.
Chad Paris
Yeah, absolutely. I like that too. The let's leave it better than I found it. I think that's you know, I I go here we go. We're gonna go back to memory lane like growing up. Like, you know, my my grandfather was one you know, he was a farmer, worked hard, you know, never made a you know, farmed and you know, just just you know, we had the garden and all of it. I grew up grew up like like some, you know. But he always said this and I thought it was great. He's like if you gee, you always say, Chad. If you're gonna do something, do it to the best of your ability. Otherwise, why would you do it? And I remember that and I and I and I've stuck with me. And that's I think that's probably you've probably heard it, and I'm sure a lot of people use it, but that is one of the best advice you can do is like if you're gonna if you're gonna spend time with people, then be the best version of you when you're spending time with them. That's the way I take it. If you're gonna do a job, like do the job that you would want in return. And I
Steve Seidel
Yeah.
Chad Paris
You know, for my company and my business, and I'm sure the same with you, is if if I'm gonna do something for somebody, I'm gonna do it the way that I would want it done. If if I'm gonna cut corners, then I'm not doing it the best of my ability. Then that's not fair to them. And I think that's that's like h I think that's how we should live our life. If you're gonna do something, do it do it good, man. Do it the right way. Don't don't cut corners. Be be do what you say you're gonna do.
Steve Seidel
Yeah. Say what you're gonna do, do what you're gonna say. Yeah, for sure. I agree with that.
Chad Paris
That's it. So you said something to me, kinda talk about you that stuck me. you you c you called yourself the ideation guy. So just let's talk about that. Tell me explain to people like what what it like what do you mean by that?
Steve Seidel
Yes.
Steve Seidel
So I have this book right here. I don't know if you've ever read this book. It's called The Six Types of Working Genius. Have you ever read that book? So this is Yeah. Yeah, he's a br so I I noticed that anytime I go forth and so I have I'm I'm neurodivergent, right? I I pretty much have it all. I I haven't really had a crazy diet, but like I'll flip words around, a little bit of dyslexia. I don't have a lot of energy from ADH and
Chad Paris
I have not. I do know Patrick Liziani though. He's he's got several books. He's really good. I think I may even have one up here.
Steve Seidel
You know, I'm on the scale there somewhere. But one of the things that I've noticed about myself is I love to just create and come up with ideas and figure out new solutions. And so that's why I initially went into engineering. But then as I started to look further into it, there was also this love to tell the story behind what it was that we were creating. and so anytime I'm working with something, at the end of the day, I'm I'm trying to figure out how can we create something that's gonna help people. But also in a new revolutionary way, you know, obviously If it's not broke, then don't fix it. Yes. But for me, I just love to create. And and I I said it on a couple other shows. Love, creativity, abundance, these are all things that you can put time and effort into them and they're not finite. They continue to give more of them. Like creativity is endless. The more that we create, the more that we want to create more. And it's like a brain or a muscle a muscle that we're working in our brain. And so like my daughter now, she's younger, she's always board hey, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, is because she's always got a tablet in her hand or has all these things. And she isn't able to sit and be with her emotions. And it's up to me as a parent to give her that freedom because then once she is, then this morning I said, Look, no TV. An hour later, she's drawing, making all sorts of colorful things and creating things. So from an I when I say ideation, it's more about the process of creating. I really love
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Steve Seidel
creating things. And sometimes I find myself working with a client and we have a one sheet. And I'll spend an hour, two, three, four, five hours working on this one sheet. I'm like, this isn't the most effective use of my time, but I love creating something and seeing it come to fruition. And that's what I love working with like leadership. We have a TEDx framework where I I work with individuals like yourself and founders where you figure out what it is that truly makes you tick. What is the story behind that? And how can we tailor that so that it's
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Steve Seidel
so powerful, so uniquely you and vulnerable at the same time because what we go through, we grow through, that it will inspire and it will empower others because they're gonna see themselves in you and then they're gonna wanna go out and show up as their best version of themselves.
Chad Paris
Yeah, I love I I I when you talk about your creativity and your storytelling and that like that I I love that. And I I think that's like that draws that's one of the things that drew me into you is the fact that like you're you're such a good storyteller. Like you you flow very well when you talk. And I think that's that's really that's that's a gift, by the way. Probably know that. But I think that's what's cool about like the way you approach business is
Steve Seidel
Thank you.
Chad Paris
'Cause 'cause it is. E every every leader, every business owner, everything is a there is a story within that w we we kind of talked about it a lot. Your past, your your your present and your future is a story. It it really is. And and that story is so important to who you are. and it makes you a better leader, it makes you a better husband, it makes you a better what you know, what community member whatever is when you can connect your your story into who you really are and live out that purpose with those two in line, in my opinion.
Steve Seidel
Yeah. Yeah. That's one of the thank you for sharing that. That's one of the things that I when we do our work, we want to be conscious of these stories, right? To me, the stories i it is the bridge. It's the connective tissue that helps, you know, you can be connected to someone, but then the story is going to help you you know, connect with them with ultimately trying to derive impact on that. And there's a story we tell ourselves, right? Oftentimes we have limiting beliefs from a founder's perspective or your mindset is limited, or, you know, I'm recovering people pleaser. So I would have this story where I need external validation or I need them to like it. When reality I just need to love myself and be comfortable with my own skin. And if I create something that I like, I feel as if others would probably cr like that as well. Rick Rubin talks about it all the time. He's not a trained producer, but yet he's generated tons and thousands of hits. His book is amazing. And so there's a story we tell ourselves. there's a story that we share when we get on a pedestal. How can we leverage those? painful moments and failing and failing forward so that we can inspire others. And then there's a story that people say when you leave the room. And I think that comes back to your identity, your alignment, and then ultimately your character or who you are when your character is, you know, what people say about you when you leave the room. And, you know, you can be a father, you can be a businessman, but there's gotta be that backbone or that structure of your identity of truly of really who is the truth and what is your unique, your unique
Chad Paris
That's it.
Steve Seidel
point of view and your authentic self that is crucial nowadays in the world that we live in in the age of AI because you can generate things here and there that can be, you know, it could be a story, but when you live it and you embody it and you're able to genuinely show it and your teammates and your your colleagues and your community actually see you experiencing that amongst them is really what is the most important thing.
Chad Paris
Yeah. You you know one of the things that I always find interesting and you're you were talking, I was sitting here, it popped in my head, you know, so it's like thinking about it because it's it's really true. It's like and and I'm I this is more like a question 'cause I I am I am going to ask you a question. But what what I see a lot is is is not necessarily just in business leaders. So I wanna be very careful because I when I say people in business or I'm talking about anything, that that doesn't necessarily mean like you go to a s a a business. It could be like, you know, you could be a school teacher or whatever. People in general, what I see or what I have found, and it's very interesting, is that people have this life that they are when they're at work, whatever they may be, whether they're the boss or they're the worker, whatever. And then they have this life that they're different when they're not at work. And there's a lot of people that way. Like there there's very I would say there's very few that actually what you see at work is the same person they are when they're not at work, that they're in their own personal space or whatever. It's it's funny how we've created we almost create these two identities that we have and and it's very common. I see that a lot.
Steve Seidel
Yeah, we talk about this in my men's group. we we like to say we try to remove the mask from masculinity, but we're all wearing different masks, right? You come into work, you have a mask that you're putting on. Hey, I'm important, I'm in the leadership role. And that's fine. You can have roles and responsibilities. we we also mention, you know, we're all human beings, but I think we're actually human doing. Like we're when you're in the act of doing something, you're actively contributing towards something and you're not in your head. When you're sitting around and getting in your head and overthinking things. That's where oftentimes we're trying to present ourselves in a specific way to which we think that's what they want. And that's often what I've struggled with growing up is I, you know, that's what imposter syndrome is, right? You you feel like an imposter because we think that I'm not good enough. They're not going to value me. But when we can replace judgment with curiosity, even with ourselves, and be like, hey, why am I thinking that? I'm not good enough, but really I am good enough. I've been through this. You know, I have something to share. I am an expert in my place. And whether or not they disagree or don't or or do agree, is up to them to choose. We can't tell people how to choose or how to think.
Chad Paris
I I man, so true. But you know, it's it's just it's it's just so interesting that I mean it's gotta be exhausting, right? And I and I say this for for like the business owners that I work with and you like to try to live in those two different worlds is like which version which version of you is getting the best?
Steve Seidel
Yeah, that's a great question. I mean, in our men's group, we try and break it down. It's all about balance in life at work, home life balance, professional and personal life. And that's what we try to work on, you know, showing up. But, you know, family, fitness, fun, focus, faith, freedom, and and fun. If it's fun, it gets done. So making sure that we're touching all of those things. But when you come back to the present moment, you can't really dictate how you're showing up. You're not in your head. You're not manufacturing. You're just really in the moment. And so our mission at my company is to do good, give back, and make an impact because we want to be of service. We want to be moving forward. We want to be positively impacting our world. but I do say that you want to do good, but be great. And for great, it stands for grateful, reflective, like we talked about earlier, empathetic, accountable, say what you do, do what you're going to say, transformational. And so from a transformational perspective, I struggled it with myself when I lost my mom. It was like, man, I I had just moved to a new town. I have a virtual company. My family, one year old. I was like, man, this is like every major experience. And then I just was like, I need something. That's why I created my men's group. But I was coming from a place where I was trying to find happiness outside of myself. And so I needed to come from happiness instead of for happiness. So when I surrounded myself with people that would, you know, empower me and I found myself, I was able to, you know, reconnect, rebuild, and like reclaim my sense of purpose. that's where I think sometimes at work we have a different sense or comp purpose or compass. And that's where it's crucial for us to be in alignment to make sure that the company has the same core values. And what we do when we consult is we I have my 4M framework where we start with your mission. You know, what is your mission? What is your why? Why do you get up every day? You don't have to go to work. You get to go to work. But then what is that message? What is the message that's most important for you as a person or your organization? And then the media will come in and that's a way to elevate it and pour some gas on it. But ultimately we want to build a movement. And so the more that we can find that alignment with the companies that we work with, the culture alignment, you're going to feel fulfilled. It's not going to be draining and you're going to hopefully find that flow.
Chad Paris
Yeah. It's great. I think for me, I'll I'll tell you, like and and just along with that line, and I I for me it was it's funny, I didn't know it in the moment, but I know it now that I own my own company. And I look back on like I I'm I was in a place where I was trying to chase a title. And I'm sure you've had people that you've talked to that that that's very common, right? You you get in you you know, you think that that power or or success is valued in what your title is from work.
Steve Seidel
Yeah.
Chad Paris
And it I say that 'cause it goes back to what I just said a few minutes ago. And that's because I'm you're you're you're sec segmenting their two worlds that you live in. And so you think that behaving a title is what's gonna make you people are gonna look at it and go, Well, he's a senior vice president. He's you know, he's he's he's brilliant, he's smart, he's whatever that that is, or what we tell ourselves, right? And and we end up looking back and going, like, you know I could be just as happy as being the guy scrubbing the the toilets with the Clorox wash. And because it's not really getting a title, there is no power in having that title. Like there is none. Like we think there is, but there's really not. And like what is what is that? And and and man, I I I've talked to so many business owners that really the the the the root cause of a lot of their problem is is that they've just cons constantly just
Steve Seidel
Yeah. Yeah.
Chad Paris
They've tried to advance up and vance up and then they finally get at the and then finally then finally get at the top and they're like, Man, it's kinda lonely up here. I don't know if I like this. 'Cause it is lonely.
Steve Seidel
Climb the ladder. Yeah.
Steve Seidel
Yeah.
Steve Seidel
Yeah, th I think we spent a lot of our lives growing up. We want to accumulate. We want to get more. We're in this consumer mindset, capitalism, we gotta get more. But then once we reach the this point, right, when it's second act, third act of your life or whatever, you realize, hey, it's time to let go. Then you start stripping everything and you wanna go back to a place where it's simple and you realize, hey, none of these people's opinions really matter at the end of the day. And so that's where like
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Steve Seidel
Working at home, like how can I let go of these things? How can I let go of the expectations? How can I let go of the need to be important? How can I get rid of the ego? We just start stripping ourselves as we grow older and recognize that it's not about any of these things because when we're on our deathbed, it's gonna be about, you know, was I with my family? Was I present? You know, what did I do to help drive it an impact and leave a lasting legacy? It wasn't, you know, being the SVP at you know, a CPG company and being the most And that's what I saw too a lot. I was an actor in Hollywood and you would see a lot of and I and I always felt like, hey, one day I'm gonna move. And I wasn't present in the moment because I felt like there was this obviously, you know, there's some morality to that where people want once they get to the top, they want to stay at the top. Cause if you get knocked down, then you're not making money, you're not the it guy. And and you define your life on these certain titles. So you see it a lot when people retire, which I work with a lot of gentlemen when they retire. It's like, Look, I don't know what to do anymore. you know, it was all about my work. And that's where having that sense of self work, sense play, balancing your life out, making sure that you're in alignment and and have up, you know, the the greatest version of yourself.
Chad Paris
Yep, love it. So hey, look, kind of getting toward the end, I've got these five rapid fire questions that I'm gonna ask you. And we'll we'll go through those and you just answer the first thing on your mind. You don't get the chance to it's it's
Steve Seidel
Yeah. I love I love it. I don't get th there's no editing on this one.
Chad Paris
Okay, no editing here. This is it. So here we go. You're ready, number one. Philly cheesesteak or Kentucky barbecue. You have to pick.
Steve Seidel
without a doubt, it's way too I'm Philly through and through. You can't you can take the boy out of Philly, but you can't take the Philly out of the boy. I'm I'm underdog, baby. Philly cheesesteak, go to Pats. I and they they have Pats on Goldbelly too. So my men's group when stuff went awry and I lost my mom, boom, next day later there was like four cheesesteaks from Pats that showed up at my doorstep. And and that's where true connection and knowing who they are matters.
Chad Paris
Okay. All right.
Chad Paris
Hundred percent. Love it. There Witwiz, I was gonna say
Steve Seidel
Whiff whit whit whiz. Wit whiz. Wit whiz, bro. And g get the onions on there too.
Chad Paris
and and if you don't if you do if you try there's if you don't get it with a wit wheeze, you're you're you're you're missing out. Like don't do that other kind of cheese crap. That's not gonna that's right. You gotta do it right.
Steve Seidel
Come on, you only live once. You're dude, I got some cheesesteaks in the freezer. I'm gonna make one, I think. Thanks for doing that for me. It's gonna be my lunch.
Chad Paris
my God, they're so good too. Now you got everybody hungry. All right, next one. The best idea you ever had that you never executed.
Steve Seidel
Yeah.
Steve Seidel
dude, there's a lot of them. so here I'm gonna give you three. So we had an idea before. So I had laugh your abs off. It was gonna be a whole workout thing where it was gonna be comedians, it's gonna be a workout, and studies show that when you laugh, you actually lose calories. So that was one that I that hasn't been completed. I have a book that I'm working on right now that it's like a book based on puns. I'm gonna get that one done. But there was one that we had when I was in LA, a bunch of us came together and there's these things, there's a little solution that To go back, we're gonna go full circle to the honey buckets. So if you if if you drop a honey bucket in a toilet, there's now this thing called poopourri. You've probably heard of poopourri. But before poopourry came out, we found out that I think it was China or Japan, there's a solution you drop, and it covers the toilet. And and we were at the forefront and we were like this close to pulling the trigger, we we needed to put our money in and we like bailed on it. But we were gonna call it secret drops. And the slogan was gonna be shh, it don't stink.
Chad Paris
Okay.
Chad Paris
yeah, yeah.
Steve Seidel
And so we had all that together and then we didn't do it. And then all of a sudden poopery hit the scene and like went off like gangbusters. So that was another one. And then most recently I had a show concept that I was calling it famous last words. And so what I wanted to do was to work 'cause I'm all about, you know, creating your narrative, building a lasting legacy. And was like, Hey, what if we give people an opportunity to sort of reshape their narrative and they feel like they've been wrongfully, you know, positioned or, you know, they didn't
Chad Paris
I love it.
Steve Seidel
And now you'll notice there's a new TV show that came out on Netflix that I'm not gonna say they took it. I don't even know if I pitched it to them, but there's a show called Famous Last Words. Eric Dane was on there before he passed away. They interview him, and it's literally his last interview that he's ever given. And he talks to his children and it's extremely powerful. so I have these ideas that come up on a regular basis, and I just have notes and notes and notes, but those are three of them. Yeah.
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Chad Paris
Love it. It's great. So Charles Barkley, no you're a Barcla fan. Charles Barkley as a as a business advisor, genius move or total chaos.
Steve Seidel
Come on now.
Steve Seidel
Charles Barkley, business advisor. So what are the options? Genius move?
Chad Paris
As a business advisor. Genius move or total chaos. So think about him as a business advisor.
Steve Seidel
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a loose canon, but he speaks the truth. And so one of the greatest things, and and this is where it goes back to if it's fun, it gets done. It's like when you watch these guys, but it's him, Kenny, Shaq, they're just having fun. And that's what makes it so enjoyable when you talk about separating yourself from business and personal. It's like if you're separating yourself, there's no way you can have fun because you're not your most authentic self. So that's our goal as a leader. And for him, I would say it would probably be good to have him on board for a multitude of reasons. He's gonna shoot you straight.
Chad Paris
He does.
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Steve Seidel
He's got the credibility that he can put your product like look at him. He's in all these commercials, Capital One, you name it. and then he also has the ability to drive capital resources behind it. So I'm saying Charles Barkley, having grown up watching you as a round mound of rebound from Auburn, come on, join my team. If you're listening, I'd love to have you join my board.
Chad Paris
Yes, he is.
Chad Paris
I I meet me too. And I and I'm gonna tell you what people I will say he is pretty pretty business savvy too. He's got some great business and he's not and looks man, looks good. His his head head's the same size now like it not used to be. He's got that big head. I mean, you know.
Steve Seidel
He's got good teeth. He's on that GLP one. He's skinny now. He looks you know.
Steve Seidel
Yeah. To see him so just to on a sidebar, he was announced a game during the NCAA tournament alongside Dick Vital. Did you see that? It was actu to see Dick Vital who I'm getting goosebumps, but I've just for me, that's been my connection growing up on sports of being with my dad and listening to brilliant announcers, like the announcers are so crucial to the game because they give you the color analysis, they give you the play by play, they give you all the key components.
Chad Paris
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chad Paris
Yeah.
Steve Seidel
To really enjoying the game and you feel like you're actually there. And to see him alongside Dickie Vital was one of the most amazing experiences ever.
Chad Paris
Yeah. Yes.
Chad Paris
It's it's yeah. I mean it's just such a
Steve Seidel
And it was at a UK game and he mentioned this local spot. I can't remember the name of it. but then it blew up because he set it on air and everybody started running over there to go and have some of the food there.
Chad Paris
my God. d y see my brain, this is how my brain works. You ever been to Pomani Brothers?
Steve Seidel
I've been to Promani Brothers several times. I went to Penn State, so we've been to Pittsburgh. It's okay. You know, you got the fries in there, you got the coleslaw and such. Yeah, you gotta try it. Like 100%. Promani Brothers is an institution, just like so. That's a question from our gents derning deck. Probably our most favorite question that we strongly encourage when you're at a party and you don't want to talk to people or you feel like you don't have a connection, you go up and you say, Hey man, what's your favorite sandwich? And boom, all of a sudden
Chad Paris
You gotta try it. It's a staple.
Steve Seidel
You're gonna learn about where they're from, dietary pr restrictions. They're gonna start telling you stories, giving you restaurant. And before you know it, you're gonna be best friends. And so don't just sit there in the corner with your phone, ask them what their favorite sandwich is.
Chad Paris
Yes.
Chad Paris
Love it. That's great advice. All right, two more. One word your closest friend would use to describe you.
Steve Seidel
Yep. Cool.
Steve Seidel
My closest friend would used to describe me one word would be because I ask these guys all the time. He would probably say, I I mean it's I hate the term, but he would say crazy. I mean, you you gotta be crazy in order to make it like yeah, like the seal song, you're never gonna survive unless you get a little crazy. It's like that's that's where you gotta get outside the box. That's where gotta be willing to try things. Like I I would never shy away from trying something.
Chad Paris
I love it. Crazy's not always bad.
Chad Paris
There you go. There you go.
Steve Seidel
I'll tell I'll tell you a quick story. Gary V, I've always loved him, wanted to meet him. He was out in LA promoting his case with shoes. There was a line around a block of about a thousand people, maybe five thousand. And this was a huge moment in my life. And I said, I want to meet Gary Vee. What's going to stop me? Who's going to stop me from seeing him? The only person that's going to stop me is myself. So I went and walked all the way to the front of the line. I looked at the doorman and said, What's up, man? And I went right in and opened the door and I walked right in there and I met him. And
Chad Paris
That's awesome.
Steve Seidel
It was a life moment of means like you can stop yourself, but if you want something bad enough, you gotta get off your ass and go get it.
Chad Paris
Amen. I love that. That's so true. Awesome. Awesome advice. All right, here's the last one. And I ask everybody the same question. So I'm gonna hear your what does process over pressure mean to you?
Steve Seidel
Yeah.
Steve Seidel
So great question. So process over pressure to me is pressure is gonna be part of the situation in the world we live in. No pressure, no diamonds, right? So you need pressure in order to succeed. You need pressure in order to grow. So when you have these processes in place, for me, it starts, there's the morning routines. You can use the word habits, you can use their however you want to phrase it. The guy in my men's group, we have this thing it's called morning pies where you do something physical, intellectual. emotional and spiritual every morning. It all starts with your morning routine. But that's where you have your morning routine, you have your exercise, your meditation, whether it's walking meditation, whether it's prayer, but you have to get yourself, I get excited, you have to take a moment to breathe, to know that your heart is beating for you, to know that your lungs are working for you. And know that you have these systems in place that are all conspiring for the greater good. So I think when you have these things in place and you write things down from a gratitude perspective, What's one thing you're grateful for? The night before you go to work, you look at the what's the top priority that I'm gonna focus at the end of the day. But having these small systems in place are gonna allow you to flourish because you don't need to think about them. You can stack your habits, and then when something when S hits the fan because it's going to, you can take a moment and breathe. That's what the Navy SEALs do. They have box breathing. They have all these individual things that they need to do because it's gonna go wrong, but it's just a matter of will you respond?
Chad Paris
So yeah.
Steve Seidel
And take a six second pause and figure out what needs to be done, or are you gonna react and let it go off the rails?
Chad Paris
Love it. Guys, that's the end of our show. Stephen, thank you so much for being on. As always, this I'm Chad Paris. This is Process Over Pressure. Till next time.
Steve Seidel
Thank you so much.
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